By popular demand I am posting my blackout story from last year...
August 2003
At last a story of Toronto worthwhile to share...After SARS, disease carrying bugs, a Stones concert, and a heat wave -- the piece de resistance --darkness!!
In typical "Tits Malone" fashion... I gathered with friends and a few strangers and drank and partied and waited for the lights to come back on. Not the best in survival tactics but it seemed like a good idea at the time. In fact, my friend Douglas who lives up stairs had a stack of mushrooms he had been saving for a special occasion.
As I am a ridiculous and frivolous person, I took them. It has been so hot and humid, I was willing to do just about anything not to think about how sticky and sweaty I was.The city was so odd, everyone was on the street walking around with candles and looking at the sky. It wasn't just the mushrooms, but for the first time ever, I could see the Milky Way and all the stars that usually hide from the light of civilization. Thousands of people were just walking around by candlelight oohing and ahhing at the stars.
And as my neighbourhood is the gay ghetto of Toronto, a spontaneous dance party erupted with a boombox and those bloody glow sticks. Seriously, do gay men keep those green sticks in the kitchen drawers? If the world ever ends I want to be on Church Street when it happens. Nothing will stop "Boystown" from throwing a great party, not even the end of it all.
When the lights first went out I was in the office and in a flash, there we all were sitting in the dark. One of my co-workers lightened the mood and said, "Let me know if you fuckers see any planes". We laughed and then the entire floor just sat there like animals in a barnyard. Nobody moved and I think we all held our breath. It was quite awhile before the emergency speakers came on. That’s when we all relaxed a bit.Once we realised that this was something serious, everyone started getting up making their way to the stairs.
Saying you have to walk down 28 floors really doesn't sound like a lot. But after 17 my legs were definitely starting to complain. And I still had to make my way home. Being Thursday, I was supposed to meet my sister downstairs for our usually drinking night. How we found each other was a small miracle. The street were packed and filled with the noise of people talking and cell phones ringing. I really shouldn't complain about the stairs. This very pregnant woman walked down 68. I told her to sit down and relax and gave her some of my diet coke. As Masur and I walked home the traffic lights were not working, and everything was at a standstill. Spontaneously a guy in a suit and whistle went out and started directing traffic. Being Canadian, everyone waited for directions and crossed or drove politely through the intersections.
Walking home was hot and all I could think of was a nice cold beverage. My local bar was open and after 6 weeks of no-carb hell - I finally broke down and had a cold beer. Several in fact. I tried to call my mother but the bar phone was not working. I knew that she would be stuck in her building and possibly freaking out wondering where Masur and I were. However, unbeknownst to me, my mother with her binoculars (don't ask) had watched Masur and I on the street and go to the bar. When a few friends called to find out if we were ok, she felt compelled to tell everyone that we were down at the pub drinking and parting. I think it came as a shock to no one.
Neighbour D made a mad dash to the beer store and some how only ended up with nasty Ontario wine. When the bar closed -- the manager didn't want a bunch of drunken people milling around in the dark, we made our way back home. Word from the people on the street was that the blackout had hit a huge area. That is when the party truly began and the only thing left to do was to drink the nasty Ontario wine with ice. Our last bit of decadence.
We also went in rotation and had a cold shower. Then sat on the balcony and waited for darkness to fall. As we sat there, we ended up talking to neighbours -- for the first time ever. They too were having blackout party and already feeling a little tipsy we decided to combine our drinking inventory. Again, not the best survival instinct. However, the neighbours happened to be two cute girls from Dublin who also had several cute boys drinking with them (thus my decision was easy). We had so much fun and I can only imagine how much noise we were making singing at the top of our lungs. I can't remember the songs but I think some of them were quite vulgar.
Once I went home to check on my mother and see if she needed anything, she gave me more candles. She said she could hear us laughing and singing and knew we were ok. Then made me take the last of her expensive candles because they would smell nice and "the young need the light".Guilt, guilt, guilt.
We were battleready with a tub full of booze and still functioning running water. That is when D thought in an emergency the best policy was to get completely fucked up. Why this was important or necessary I can't tell you. But it was just such a carnival atmosphere and the streets were just filled with people and dancing and singing. Hey, why not.
So there we all were. Fucked. And then well, what can I tell you. People react differently when it comes to cute boys, mushrooms, booze, pot and darkness.
We sat around talking and that’s when I found out for the first time how old my new neighbours were – EARLY TWENTIES!!! Wow! I am now officially a cougar!!! D, Masur and I were all flattered that the group thought we were 10 years younger than we were. I guess if we were more mature and adult-like we wouldn’t be tripping on mushrooms and drinking like fish.
However, the combo of heat and fucked-uped-ness I really needed to go lay down. Walking down the ally in the dark did not appeal to me. I was feeling a little paranoid...(could it be the combination of pot, mushrooms and Ontario hooch?) I asked two of the boys to walk me home. Now before you think you know what comes next -- not quite.Yes, I took one upstairs. Yes, he was twenty-two years old and yes, I am very bad girl.
I think I was offered both of the boys the but I showed restraint. It was dark and there were candles everywhere. It was a moral free zone. I was in a great mood and the sex was great fun and it was really nice. In the morning he asked if I could look at his resume since he wanted to move up in the world from being the busboy at my local breakfast chain of pancake torture. How sweeet.
I suppose at this point you are shaking your head. But I shall defend myself.When faced with the end of the world - always go for potentially hot "catastrophic" sex. That way as you descend into darkness...at the very least you got some hot young ass to look at.
